Strip Aerobics, Burlesque, and Pole Aerobics, Oh my!!!

The topic of tonight lesson is Rhythm…

OK so actually I have a little score to settle. I have been hearing in a lot of places that a few types of dance and classes are getting confused out there. So tonight we are here to breakdown Strip Aerobics, Burlesque, and Pole Aerobics. Just bear with me for a minute. The lines between these many get a little fuzzy for a few minutes but I promise we’ll sort it out.

Strip Aerobics Definition
If you come by a class at Rhythm N Motion to give Strip Aerobics a try you should. Maybe you are hesitant because you don’t know what it is? So you go to youtube.com and put “Strip Aerobics” in for a search. After you watch all 500 of my clips and moves of the week you see that there are other clips. Some are drunk girls rolling on the floor, some are Carmen Electra doings Hip Hop with wacky counts, and some are girls just skanking it up. (Can I say skanky in a blog? Well I just did so Oh well…)
Maybe a little help on the definition will clear things up. Unfortunately there is no definitive book defining what qualifies as Strip Aerobics. Some people feel that booty grinding the floor and gyrating around is Strip Aerobics, some people think if you teach Hip Hop but you take off clothes then that is Strip Aerobics. I can’t say they are wrong but I can tell you what my version entails. I think of strip Aerobics as two fold. Part of it is what we do in class the sexy butt kicking workout in chairs. Then there is the side we do in the Vulcan Performers shows that is slightly slowed down and more of a tease and seductive. Please note that I didn’t say strip tease, I don’t think that you have to take off clothes for it to be a Strip Aerobics routine. To me the Strip aspect of it is the attitude of the performance not how little you end up wearing. There is a big difference between sexy and vulgar. What’s plenty sexy in the privacy of your own home can quickly turn vulgar on a stage.

There is some debate as to what is really strip aerobics. This is my honest opinion of what is and isn’t strip aerobics:

What Strip Aerobics is …
- It’s a fun flirty way to work out.
- It’s a great cardio workout that will give you a killer butt and amazing abs
- It’s all about girl power. Not the Spice girls type crap. But it’s about feeling good about you and having a sense of accomplishment at the end of a class.
- It’s a good way to blow off steam after dealing with what ever man has been ticking you off all day.
- It’s all about knowing how sexy you are without needing a man to tell you that.
- It’s a way to blend many dance styles into something that you can identify with be it. Jazz, Ballet, Fosse, Contemporary, Heck you can even throw in some cheerleading if you’re feeling froggy.
- It’s all about learning something that you can take away from class and use how you like be it for your own exercise, entertain a special someone, or just to have something new as a hobby

What Strip Aerobics isn’t …
-Learning how to be a real stripper
-Humping the floor or pelvic thrusting for an hour straight
-Swinging from a pole and busting you butt.
- Strutting around a studio in some insane little outfit. (Save the outfits for extracurricular practice at home. Preferably with a study buddy of the opposite sex.)
- Flossing your crotch with a feather boa and calling it sexy
- Doing a bunch of hip hop moves while taking off your clothes


Burlesque
This is an extremely old form of dance and in its legit form it can be very entertaining. But the groups out there today that call themselves “Burlesque” are nothing more than a bunch of skanky girls that prance around in boob tassels.

In the old days Burlesque had a true style and it was beautiful. It was all about the tease, never completely giving all your secrets away. It was suppose to be slightly bawdy at times and hint at the obscene. But it was never meant to be the lewd display that so many Birmingham and Tuscaloosa “burlesque troops” have made it into. The music traditionally had no words so that the dancer relied on herself to be the show and not lewd lyrics such at “Coin Operated boy” or “Shavem’ Dry” or “Lords of Acid.”

There is nothing wrong with being suggestive but what groups today do are not burlesque teasing. They are just strippers looking for somewhere to dance other than a strip club. No one wants to see a fat out of work stripper prancing around in a too tight outfit and cheap boob tassels.

Burlesque dancers back in the day were supposed to be the epitome of feminine. They were physically beautiful and moved like a dream. Physically they were thin but not a todays standard of thin they were the epitome of what was beautiful for their time period. When they went out to perform the tassels were suppose to swing not the belly rolls of fat. They had dance training and knew how to use their bodies. Rather than just going for the shock value of “Hey look at my rack.”

Burlesque back in the day was in a word beautiful. But sadly what is being done in Birmingham as of right now it is just disgusting.

Pole Aerobics
Ok the big idea here is that you do stripper like moves on a pole in order to get a workout. This is just an insane idea that has no business being taught for many reasons:

1. Poles are dangerous.
If you don’t know the moves or have the upper body strength you are probably going bust and hit hard. You run the risk of hitting your head or worse breaking your neck. I know it’s real funny to laugh at youtube.com and all but these girls face serious life altering injuries.
2. If you have never played around with a pole you are very likely to get hurt.
The most dangerous part of playing with a pole is not knowing what you’re doing. The moves you see some chicks do are very complicated and take a lot of strength to do. If you don’t have that strength and have no know how you are going to make a serious mistake and get very injured in the process.
3. Poles will burn.
Do you remember sliding down a hot slide at the park when you were a kid? You remember those burns on the backs of your legs. Imagine those on your inner thighs. Not such a pretty picture is it. Sounds pretty unpleasant doesn’t it and burns on your inner thighs are not sexy.
4. Removable poles are a waste of time and unsafe
Ok I admit I jumped on this band wagon when it was popular I thought how cool to have a stripper pole in my house. Boy was that ever a mistake. Fist they must assume that everyone lives in a place with 6 foot ceilings because of you extend it farther than that it gets very shaky and unstable. Not to mention you can’t put any weight what so ever on one of these poles or they fall over destroying your ceiling and take out anything in the surrounding area. Not good at all. Do you really want to be one of these chicks on youtube.com that falls over in her house because she is trying to climb one of these poles and it falls out of the ceiling? I think not.
5. The attire they encourage in their classes is ridiculous.
This is probably one of my biggest pet peeves about this style of classes. The attire is absurd. I am all for looking sexy in class but be practical. Six inch platform high heels are just not a good idea for anyone. But in an exercise class this is the most pointless thing I can imagine. I’m sorry but if you are looking for a workout pair of basic boy shorts and a sexy sports bra are all you need. The rest of the paraphernalia that they try to get away with is just dangerous. First you are hanging over the ground from your legs or arms on a pole and on top of that you want to add some crazy looking get up? Please be serious.
6. Ring worm and athlete’s foots
Many of these classes encourage you to go barefoot if not wearing the insane footwear. This is a bad idea. Walking around in a room where people are sweating and working out is just asking to spread a fungus. If they happen to have crash pads under their poles that soft squishy material is a breeding ground for germs and fungus. Your typical health club doesn’t do the best job cleaning machines so what do you think a bunch of girls teaching pole aerobics are going to be like. I seriously doubt they are cleaning those mats, floors, or poles with any kind of bleach solution. So if just one person comes in there with ringworm or staph infection you are running a pretty high risk of catching it.
7. You can’t replicate the workout at home
Ok we have established that the removable pole is out. So unless you are investing the big bucks to install a real pole in your house or getting an after hours job in adult entertainment then you have no where to practice this outside of your class. Which anyone who has ever danced will tell you that if the only time you are working on the material is in class you aren’t going to get any better at what you are doing.

Here are a few clips off of youtube.com of various girls busting their butts and the rest of them because of these stupid poles:

Ok not that these girls getting hurt is funny but here is a video of about ten really ugly falls on a Stripper Pole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5IPHJG42kk

This girl probably had a concussion after this or at least one hell of a headache.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cybKQVs0_fk

This girl busts her rear a hard one. It happens around 1:30 into the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E7G1iSNpRQ


Ok so I’ve covered Strip aerobics, Burlesque, and Pole Aerobics. I hope this has cleared up some of the confusion and made it a little easier to tell all of these apart. I don’t mean to go on a rampage bashing all of these styles. But to me if you are going to pick a style you should be the best at it and be educated in other styles. So if nothing else I hope this gives you a little insight and knowledge.

Hope this inspires you to check out strip aerobics with us and make sure to watch Move of the week.

And hey if there is something specific you’d like me to talk about in my blog just send me a message and I’ll get around to it.

Kisses
Queen Wendy